


Don't

by Heikijin



Series: Xeno Lance [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aliens, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blood, Bottom Lance (Voltron), Doggy Style, First Kiss, First Time, Grinding, Guilt, Head Injury, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Injury, Lance (Voltron) Has Self-Esteem Issues, Loss of Control, Love Confessions, M/M, Men Crying, Physical Changes, Seizures, Sharing a Bed, Top Shiro (Voltron), Violence, Vomiting, Whump, Woobie Lance (Voltron), Xenomorphs (Alien)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24378910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heikijin/pseuds/Heikijin
Summary: Why did there have to be hostile aliens here? Not the original occupants but what was left in the resulting carnage of the wreckage. More animal than intellectual. They were being hunted, instinct and nothing more driving the things. They were like mice in a tiger’s lair, they were at a disadvantage as it was but now they’d been separated. Now they’d be an easier kill, especially if the other Paladins were as wounded as Lance. Or worse.
Relationships: Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Xeno Lance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933462
Comments: 71
Kudos: 199





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was sharing bits of this and it was requested I post it. I do plan to finish this as well, this intro chapter is just the beginning. Buckle up!

_Don’t follow me._

Lance stumbled almost blindly through the tilted corridors of the crash landed alien ship they’d been dispatched to help. His eyes barely open as thick, acidic mucus smeared the top half of his face. Burning and stinging as he tried to find somewhere to hide.

_Don’t follow me._

Why did there have to be hostile aliens here? Not the original occupants but what was left in the resulting carnage of the wreckage. More animal than intellectual. They were being hunted, instinct and nothing more driving the things. They were like mice in a tiger’s lair, they were at a disadvantage as it was but now they’d been separated. Now they’d be an easier kill, especially if the other Paladins were as wounded as Lance. Or worse.

Lance frantically tried his comm again but it just buzzed and crackled in his ear. Helmet split and smashed across one side as hot blood trickled down the side of Lance’s head and neck. They’d found the original crew almost as soon as they’d entered the ship. Corpses piled high and mostly picked clean, skulls _exploded_ from the inside out in a gruesome example of whatever method the enemy used to kill its prey.

Lance had wanted to leave, he _really_ had, but they needed to check for survivors. As if there would be survivors when there were so many bodies piled high. _As if_.

 _Don’t find me_. 

He was breathing too loudly now, half limping as his breath echoed around him in the dead silence. Too loud, too much. All he could hear was his laboured breaths, bubbling and rasping and punctuated by the tap-drag of his feet on the cold metal-like floor. 

_Don’t hear me._

Lance knew he should worry about everyone equally, he _should…_ but he couldn’t. Not when the person he loved was at the forefront of his mind, stuffed into his conscious thoughts along with the imminent danger _he_ was in. Was he still alive? Were the _others_ still alive? Hunk and Pidge and Keith… Surely Allura and Coran would know by now that they needed help… right?

 _Where was Shiro_?

Lance swiped at his eyes as best as he could through the opening in the front of his helmet. Fat lot of good it was when one of those _things_ got hold of him and smashed his head against the floor. He was just lucky the visor had shattered outward, that and that the atmosphere both in the ship and on the planet contained enough air to breathe. 

Sure, it was a _heavy_ sort of air that felt thick and almost stifling but it was better than _no_ air. Though Lance wasn’t sure if it was the air or his head injury making him dizzy. What he did know is that he needed to stop and rest, which he couldn’t do in the middle of whatever corridor he was currently in.

Feeling his way along the wall with the hand not occupied by his bayard Lance curled his fingers around the edge of a doorway and held his breath to listen. Nothing but his pulse and the faint creak of metal from his foot upon an uneven section of floor greeted his ears, so he carefully inched around the corner. The space beyond instantly felt closer, more claustrophobic indicating that he was no longer in a hallway but a room. A _small_ room.

_Don’t find me…_

Lance edged along the wall that the door opening had been on until he came to what felt like a corner, then he pressed his back to it and slid down onto his ass. He kept his bayard in his left hand but with his right he yanked off his split helmet and put it quietly on the floor beside himself. The pressure from the distorted shape and the pinch of the cracked edges no longer digging into his skull were a relief and he sighed softly. The sudden gush of thick blood that had been trapped atop his head by it though… that wasn’t quite as much of a relief and Lance grimaced and wiped it away with the back of his hand.

He wiped at his face again too, the acidic substance still burning but less than before. Lance took a moment to just let his eyes water and clear a bit with the help of the tears instead of holding them back. He covered his mouth with his free hand as his breath hitched noisily and he blinked rapidly to dispel the pain.

Whatever was on his glove smelled awful and he pulled it away from his mouth in disgust. But the smell didn’t go away, instead only seeming to grow stronger. Sulphur and rotting flesh came to mind and as Lance forced his eyes open despite still hurting he could see why. It wasn’t his hands or anything on them, the dark, blurred shape looming mere inches from his face told him that.

Lance couldn’t make out the details, nor did he want to. Instead a sense of panic welled up within him and burst free in a startled yelp that was anything but stealthy. One of them had found him, it had been so quiet, so _silent_ there was no chance of hearing them coming if they were that stealthy. He was about to scream again when something wrapped around his throat.

Sharp, barbed claws digging in and making his voice stick before it could break free. Three on the left side, two on the right curled around his jaw and pricking searing hot marks into his cheek. Then it was hissing, or _something_. Lance was sure he’d heard that sound somewhere before in some sort of nature documentary at home, something to do with giant cockroaches. Or something like it at least because the odd, high pitched noise that made up an uncomfortable undertone was anything but terrestrial. 

Lance grabbed at the vice like grip around his throat, lifting his bayard as best he could with the close proximity. But another one of those large painful claws wrapped around his wrist and rendered his grip on his weapon useless in a matter of seconds. The sound of it dropping to the floor was like a death toll and Lance felt his lungs burning as a scream finally forced itself free in a way that seemed to shred his throat from the inside. 

_Don’t kill me!_

He was suffocating. His head felt both light and too full of blood as the grip around his neck kept a firm squeeze. The scream that Lance had managed to let out was cut off moments later as that grip tightened and the hissing grew louder. Lance felt like his eyes were bulging, the pressure building in them making his vision blur more than just tears ever could.

Legs kicking and mouth working around no sound, Lance clawed at the limb attached to the grip on his throat until his hand stopped working right. Numb and stiff from lack of oxygen as spots began dancing in front of his eyes just as something else came at him. Lance couldn’t see, couldn’t focus, but something was clawing at his face now. Pricking his skin and drawing up welts beading with blood. The stinging acid across his skin that had been there since the start seemed to hiss and bubble on contact with his blood and Lance choked out another weak attempt at a scream.

_Can’t breathe…_

He was about to pass out, but then the grip on his neck loosened slightly and blood rushed to his head making Lance feel sick. Groaning and gagging he was sure his head would have lulled to the side if not for the claws gripping him still. The one wrapped about his arm was still brutal and tight, it felt like even his _bones_ were creaking in protest.

Suddenly there was a sharp pain and the vision that had whited out was back and staring straight at the black mass of _something_ . Something poking at his cheeks, at his _eyes_. Lance screamed again, raw and desperate and then the sound was cut off as the creature tightened the grip once more.

_Don’t-! My eyes!_

It hurt, it felt like his eyes were being clawed out - no - _bursting_ with the pressure and movement. He couldn’t see any more. Lance kicked again with vigour and stiffened with the pain of whatever this thing was using to apparently claw into his skull through his eye sockets. He was going to _die_. The pressure was getting worse inside his head, Lance’s body fell still again, seeming to tense against his will as he began to lose consciousness.

_Don’t! Don’t, no no stop don’t kill me!_

Lance was sure this was it for him, the pain in his lungs and throat and _head_ . He just wanted it to be over now. He was scared, so _terrified_ but it hurt _so much_. Were those tears drenching his face, or was it blood? More acid? Everything hurt but everything was going numb, too. Lance couldn’t tell anymore, couldn’t think…

Lance thought about his family - he’d never see them again huh? And his friends, the other Paladins… _Shiro_ . He’d never gotten a chance to muster up the courage to confess to the other man. It all seemed so stupid now, what had he been so scared of? Rejection? Even so it wasn’t like _Shiro_ would hate him or stop talking to him. Lance would have gotten over it and pined from a distance… this was so much worse than that.

Don’t forget me…

Everything faded to nothing but the sole, thudding pulse throbbing through his head. Ropey and not enough. Then the pressure faded, first in his eyes then on his arm and neck. He was falling, there was a yell and more of that hissing noise. The sound of something ripping, the sensation of some sort of hot fluid spraying over him as Lance lay unmoving on the cold floor of the ship.

Then everything ebbed away and Lance came back to the feeling of shaking. Arms wrapped around him, a firm body against his.. _human_ . Words were being spoken but nothing made sense, the tone of the voice familiar and _safe_ and calling his name _. Shiro_ . Lance wanted to move, to grab the other man in return but his limbs were still stubbornly unresponsive and he eventually relented. Let the darkness claim him because now he was _safe_ …

_Don’t leave me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	2. Chapter 2

Lance didn't know how long he was out for, but when he began to come to his head was throbbing with each beat of his pulse. At first he couldn't move, fighting to dispel the claggy fog of unconsciousness as his body felt like it was see-sawing despite being laid upon something solid and cold. After the first prickles of consciousness came the nausea and then - thankfully - movement as Lance rolled onto his side and violently vomited.

"Lance- shh!" Warmth at his back and the hurried, whispered plea made Lance open his eyes with shock. He remembered now, Shiro had found him.

"Shi-" Two things happened when he'd begun to blurt out the other paladin's name. Firstly a gloved hand was shoved against his mouth haphazardly with another hurried shushing. Secondly Lance gagged and puked again, panicking at the hand blocking him as he tried to swallow around it but ended up with watery sick dribbling down his chin and out of his nose all over Shiro's hand.

Gross. So _fucking gross_. Shiro didn't move his hand away despite the mess, though, and Lance could hear him trying to hush his own laboured breathing. They were really in trouble if he couldn't even puke without it being a risk to them. But his head hurt so much and his vision was swimming, it felt like he was on choppy waters in a boat but they weren't moving. Lance just felt so sick.

Withholding a pathetic whimper Lance grit his teeth and clenched his jaw tight, forcing himself to breathe through his nose for a moment and hoping it would make some of the burn of bile abate. The area beneath Shiro's hand was itching, irritated from the addition of stomach acid - he'd not eaten since breakfast and it'd been hours - against his already alien spew inflamed skin.

Shakily moving his hand up Lance dislodged Shiro's palm from his face and took in some slow, quivering breaths through his mouth now that it was freed. He gripped the other man's wrist tightly, trying to force his head to stop spinning and his vision to clear so he could see what was happening. Where they were. Any approaching threats. But it wouldn't, no matter how many times he blinked or how much his eyes watered Lance could only make out fuzzy shapes and light sources.

He tried to shove down the panic that came with realising his vision may never return to normal. Whatever had been spat at his face had definitely been an extreme irritant, if not some corrosive substance. He'd be useless if he couldn't see, not only in their current situation but for everything after. He wouldn't be able to pilot Blue, help with missions, or even fight. Lance swallowed thickly around another gag and this time was successful in abating any more vomiting.

"Lance, we need to move. Do you think you can get up and walk?" Shiro's voice was low and so close Lance thought the other man's lips would brush against his ear if he got any closer. It was also strained sounding, trembling and uneven. Pained.

Not wanting to risk his voice coming out too loudly Lance nodded shakily and rolled the rest of the way over onto his hands and knees before pushing himself into a stand. Strong hands grabbed at him and Lance pitched to one side with a choked off gasp. They'd both get killed if he was like this.

"Shiro. Leave me, get out." Lance forced the whisper out as quietly and confidently as he could. He didn't want Shiro to leave him alone, but he wanted the other Paladin to die because of him even _less_.

His answer came in the form of a muffled grunt and then Shiro was wrapping his arm around Lance's waist and tugging him along. Oh that felt...  _ awful _ . Moving made his head spin even more and the pain was just  _ worse _ the more Lance exerted himself. It was worse now than after it'd first happened, but then again he'd been fuelled by much more adrenaline then too.

Relenting in his effort to be 'a hero' Lance wrapped his own arm around Shiro's back for support as he stumbled along as quietly as he could next to the taller man. They were too noisy, too slow. Those things were fast and quiet and they were going to  _ find them _ . It struck Lance just then that he'd dropped his bayard before passing out and had never retrieved it, he was half sure they hadn't been in the same place when he woke up - it'd been too light and open feeling.  _ Fuck _ .

" _ Shit _ ." Shiro swore under his breath and Lance faltered in his steps as Shiro yanked him hard to the side just as something crashed into the floor close enough that Lance felt a brush of  _ something _ against the opposite side to the one Shiro was pressed against. "Lance, take it!" Shiro shoved something against his gut and Lance fumbled to wrap his hands around it - his bayard.

"I- I can't  _ see _ !" His response was panicked and Lance blinked his eyes more frantically, shoving the back of his hand against them in turn to try to force his vision to clear enough to  _ fight _ . But it was to no avail. He felt a hopeless sob trying to bubble up out of him but forced it down.

"Then run!" Shiro shoved at him then, making Lance stumble into the wall with a harsh grunt and he heard the dreadful noise of one of those  _ things _ hissing right behind him.

Then Shiro was fighting it. The scuffle violent and the older man's huffs and gasps of exertion made Lance's stomach twist sickly, he wanted to help. He  _ needed _ to help.

Lance turned and squinted, he could see the shape of the other man and the alien moving a few feet ahead of him, could smell it, could almost  _ taste _ it as more acidic mucus hit him on the thigh and burned the skin through his suit in an itchy splotch. He had to guess right, he couldn't risk hurting Shiro or getting in the way when something so deadly was their opponent. But Lance was  _ sure _ he could tell them apart, Shiro seemed so much smaller.

Steeling himself and forcing his trembling legs to move Lance launched himself forward into a tackle against the solid body of their alien foe. He dug his shoulder in as hard as he could feeling the joint crunch with the force of his movement against such a hard, armored surface but it didn't matter. They fell to the floor and the thing screeched lashing out with claws against Lance's back as the blue paladin activated his bayard and shoved it against the body still pressed against his own. 

Lance fired until he was covered in its blood from the overkill and Shiro was yanking him up to stand by the back of his armor.

Lance’s breaths were hard and fast, panicked. He could feel gunk all over him that was  _ definitely _ a mixture of the aliens blood and guts. He felt sick and faint and his hands were going numb from hyperventilating, Shiro’s voice was right next to his ear but he couldn’t make sense of the words. How  _ stupid _ , Lance had been trained for this he shouldn’t be freaking out so much even if he was  _ blind _ . 

Suddenly he felt hands on his cheeks and Lance clawed his way out of the panic enough to see Shiro’s face mere inches from his own. Just a fuzzy sort of shape with darker areas where his eyes and mouth and scar were. 

“Lance just breathe! Calm down you need to focus okay? You can do this, we’re together _we_ can do this. But you have to calm down and work with me.” Shiro’s words were level aside from the exertion in his tone that Lance was almost sure by now was caused by a painful injury somewhere. 

“Ngh!” Lance did his best to force down his panic again. Bury it until it was over and  _ then _ he could break. Shiro’s hands were still on Lance’s cheeks as he nodded.

“Good. Okay, try to stay close and quiet, alright?” Shiro’s voice had dropped low again, Lance was only able to hear him because their faces were so close together. 

Agreeing wordlessly Lance did his best to shakily follow Shiro when the man released his hold on his face and turned to move. Squinting and blinking a lot to try and make things out better Lance felt more than a little disorientated and the pain in his head was horrendous. The dim emergency lighting of the ship they were in didn’t help matters in the slightest either.  _ Shit _ .

Lance stumbled over his own feet - or was there something on the floor? - and swallowed thickly around the sound of surprise that wanted to come out. Successful in silencing himself Lance kept a hand pressed to the wall for balance, fingers skipping and skimming over various indentations and control panels along the way. He had no idea where Shiro was leading them, the light was a constant dim glow and they didn’t duck into any of the doorways they seemed to pass and the longer they were moving the worse Lance was feeling.

After what seemed like forever Shiro stopped and Lance almost ran straight into the back of the taller man, moments later Shiro was grabbing Lance by the arm and carefully tugging him into a room. The soft  _ whoosh  _ of the door closing was a sudden and overwhelming relief because that meant they were somewhere relatively safe and Lance felt his knees begin to buckle before he locked them with determination. He couldn’t just  _ collapse _ at the first whiff of safety after all. 

Without being able to see what sort of room they were in Lance didn’t know if he could sit down and rest for a while, if he’d have to stand, or even if they’d need to move on quickly and Shiro was only in here for some supplies. Was it safe to speak? Lance swallowed thickly around the still gross smell lingering around them from the aliens blood.

“Where… are we?” Lance whispered, reaching a hand out in-front of him and trying to feel his way into the middle of the room once Shiro had released his arm. 

“We need to get that off of your face, and rest.” Shiro’s own voice was low but not as quiet as it had been. “We should be safe here for a little while as long as we keep quiet, since it has a working, locking door.” Shiro’s words were followed by a shuffling sound and a soft click before a soft light filtered into Lance’s vision from somewhere near the other man. A torch or something similar. 

“Thank _fuck_ for that.” Lance couldn’t help the cracked tone to his voice as he sagged and finally let himself crumple to the floor where he stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	3. Chapter 3

It took awhile for them to settle and catch their breath after finding the relative safety of the closed room. Lance still had no idea what _kind_ of room it was but it could have been a toilet for all he cared because they were shielded from the rest of the godforsaken place.

“Lance, come over here.” Shiro’s voice brought the blue eyed man out of his relieved daze and Lance didn’t even bother standing up. 

Lance crawled across the floor towards Shiro and the light of the torch - lumistick… lantern? Whatever. He bumped into Shiro, hand falling on the other Paladin’s leg for a moment before he pulled it away quickly and sat back on his heels with a muttered apology. It was hard to gauge distances as well as details, apparently. 

“It’s fine.” Shiro’s voice was soft, quiet and calmer than it had been. “Can you stand? We need to wash that stuff off.”

“Not right now I don’t think… Sorry.” Lance thought he might just throw up so violently his insides would come out if he tried to stand again now. That or pass out. Or die. His head had really been crushed.

Shiro was quiet for what seemed like a painfully long moment as Lance sat there trying to force his nausea down, eyes squeezed shut against the tilting of the world. They stung, and ached, and his head was throbbing harshly with each beat of his heart. It made it feel like his brain was trying to escape through the space where his spinal column joined the base of his skull.

“Right. Okay then, that’s fine. This is fine.” Shiro’s voice was no longer quite as calm. 

“That’s why I told you to leave m-” He was interrupted.

“I’m _not_ leaving you Lance!” Lance so wished he could see what sort of expression Shiro was making at that moment. The tone alone made his heart feel like it skipped a beat despite the situation. Despite his pain. 

“Shiro…” He wouldn’t cry.

“Just wait a moment.” Lance saw Shiro’s silhouette moving and then the sound of water splashing into something. The noises continued for a while, the flow of water sounded slow and Lance didn’t know if it was because the ship had been crash landed for god knew how long or if it was because Shiro was trying to be quiet.

“Right. Just uh…” Shiro sounded like he was trying to think as he knelt beside Lance, he was close. “Ok, lie down. Here.” His hands were on Lance’s shoulders then.

Lance allowed Shiro to guide him down into position, laying on his back with his head slightly elevated and resting on the other man’s thighs. It would be a lie if Lance said the position didn’t make his heart beat fast - which made his head throb even more - and he wondered what the hell was up with him to feel that way when they were hiding from monstrous aliens who wanted to kill them. Injured, possibly dying in his case with how his head felt and was still dripping blood steadily. 

“You’re going to get covered in blood. Heh.” Lance gave a strained little laugh, trying to keep their mood lighthearted. Or as much as they could be. 

“I’m already covered in blood, Lance.” Shiro brushed Lance’s hair away from his forehead, the motion made it feel knotted and stiff. “What’s a little more eh?” It was Shiro’s turn to try and sound lighthearted. 

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Lance snorted softly. 

“You’re not the only one to blame.” Shiro’s tone was still that slightly off sort of lightheartedness. 

“What do you mean? Is it- Shiro you’re hurt?” Lance asked, wary of the answer because Shiro had been the one dragging Lance around. 

“I’m fine, Lance. You on the other hand…” Shiro pressed his fingertips against the bloodied side of Lances head gently.

Lance hissed, rendered incapable of making some sort of retort by the pain and the gross sort of grinding noise. “S- _stop_ ugh!” Lance gagged and thought he’d puke again but it was fruitless. 

“Sorry. I had to check the wound… I’m sorry Lance.” Shiro apologized and took his fingers away sounding shaken. “Your head’s-“

“I know.” Lance said, struggling around his nausea again. “I know it’s bad.” _It’s getting worse_. Lance knew what that meant. “I’ll be okay, I just need this shit off my face.” Lance titled his head back slightly, reaching out to try and find whatever container Shiro had bought over with the water in.

“Hmm…” Shiro still sounded concerned but he didn’t argue. He had to know just as much as Lance did that there wasn’t anything they could do for his head in their current situation. Lance needed a healing pod, or a hospital. “I’ll do it, stay still and try to have your eyes open some of the time, okay?”

“Yessir.” Lance gave his best attempt at a watery smile.

He let Shiro tilt his head back, hanging off the edge of the taller man’s thigh so that when the water began to pour over his face it ran into his hair and splashed on the floor. Lance felt Shiro’s flesh fingers gently wiping around his eyes and cheeks, he’d taken his gloves off at some point and was being careful not to aggravate the sore skin. 

It wasn’t exactly a pleasant sensation. Having water sloshed all over your face as you tried to intentionally let it into your eyeballs so you could blink out whatever the gritty, acidic shit was. But it helped. The burning and itching had reduced a lot by the time Shiro was done and Lance could sort of see a little bit better, at least he thought he could. Details were still impossible but colours were definitely more vivid and Shiro’s features were a little easier to make out now, no longer just a big vague blob.

“Thanks, that’s better.” Lance tried to lift his head and winced at the change in position, rolling onto his side and coughing up a pitiful amount of bile which was somehow worse than when there was a lot of it. Shiro didn’t even seem to hesitate before rubbing Lance’s back gently.

“Do you need to rest more? We need to try to get back to the lions but if you need to rest we should whilst we have the chance.” He paused for a moment, hand stilling between Lance’s shoulder blades. “We should rest…”

“I’m okay. I can do it.” Lance rolled back over and let his head fall to Shiro’s thighs again without thinking much about the position. He was tired and sore and Shiro’s legs were comfortable. A guilty part of himself wanted to enjoy the opportunity to be this close to Shiro, he didn’t anticipate that he’d get another chance like this after all. 

Lance _liked_ Shiro. He’d liked him for a long time, but it wasn’t like he could just casually saunter up to the other man and tell him that. They were a team, their ability to work together was more important than Lance’s romantic feelings and he couldn’t risk jeopardizing that stability. Couldn’t risk Shiro becoming weird and uncomfortable around him. So Lance kept it to himself. Just this once, he’d been given an excuse to indulge himself. Regardless of the fact it was because he was seriously injured or not.

“I really think you should rest for a moment okay?” Shiro didn’t protest Lance’s place in his lap, instead moving to brush Lance’s wet fringe from his face and gently smooth a thumb over the pained crease in his brow. The action was soft, unexpected. Lance felt his breath catch just a bit and he swallowed thickly to dislodge it.

“I think… the longer it takes, the worse things will get. I might just drag you down more.” Lance closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. “We should go, do you know which way the exits are, even vaguely?” His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, uncooperative.

Lance pushed himself to sit up, forcing his body to obey him and gritting his teeth around the constant sickness roiling in his gut. He’d get out of here with Shiro. They’d be safe and back at the castle in no time and those alien fuckers would continue to be marooned where they could do as little harm as possible.

At least Lance hoped they would be. He wondered if there could be some sort of warning placed around the planet, or some database entry that could be placed so that others wouldn’t make the same mistake as they had.

“Lance…” Shiro’s tone was cautious and almost chiding. “You should just rest for awhile. You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks.” Lance turned around to the blob of Shiro’s body to poke his tongue out, tasting blood that was still oozing down his face from his head wound. Or was it his nose? He couldn’t tell any more.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” The black Paladin’s tone was a mixture of mild amusement and worried exasperation. It was odd, but Lance still liked it. At least the amused portion.

“I know. I know. I’m fine, honesty. I feel a bit sick, and I have a headache. I'll get over it.” Lance felt like he was slurring but his words _sounded_ mostly fine so he ignored it. Hoped Shiro would ignore it too.

Lance stood up and stumbled forwards a few steps until he could catch himself with a hand against the wall, the other moving up to cup over his mouth. He felt so much worse now that he was standing. His left side felt sluggish and uncooperative, his mouth felt numb and he felt so sick he just wanted to collapse. _Not good_. He thought. 

“You need to sit down.” Shiro was beside him again in moments.

“No. We have to-” Lance was cut off.

“ _Sit down_.” Shiro hadn’t shouted but his voice was forceful and Lance flinched a bit at the unexpected ferocity. 

“You’re really wurri-... woorrh… Shi-...” Lance frowned, unable to get the words out right. He swallowed around the heavy feeling in his mouth and the cramping of his stomach. “Heu gweh Sho…” _Fuck fuck_ **_fuck_**. 

“Lance?” This time Shiro spoke quietly, concern dripping from his tone.

“I heuh…” _I feel wrong_. 

Lance turned, eyes wide and mouth open as he felt himself seizing up but only on the left side. All of a sudden his leg gave out and he was falling but Shiro caught him and helped lower him to the floor to sit. Lance wanted to speak again, ask what the fuck was going on and why he couldn’t move his body right. Why was his left arm cramping and pulling itself close to his chest without him telling it to? Why was his left leg doing the same? Fuck it _hurt_. 

Lance’s jaw felt tight and he felt like he was falling. Unable to move or speak or ask for help. But Shiro was there, holding him and saying things Lance couldn’t comprehend before everything went black for the second time since they’d been ambushed on this planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	4. Chapter 4

Lance had no idea how much time had elapsed since he’d blacked out. He had no idea what had happened during the episode or where he even  _ was _ anymore because it was blindingly bright and smelled like some sort of mix between curdled milk and lavender. It was sort of gross, actually.

For a while Lance couldn’t open his eyes, or move any part of his body no matter how much he tried to force it. Just as he was starting to panic he managed to squint his eyes open, seeing the blur of yellow sky above him. At least he hoped it was the yellow sky this planet sported, because that would mean they were somehow out of the ship. 

_ Are we _ “...safe?” Lance gasped out the word, slightly irritated that the first part of his sentence had refused to join it but it got his point across.

“Lance!” He heard scuffling as Shiro said his name and soon there was a distinctly Shiro shaped blob next to him. “ _ Shit _ . I thought…” It sounded like the other man was on the edge of tears, but that couldn’t be right. 

“M’okay… we… safe?” His brain and mouth were still not quite connected right and Lance decided that if Shiro was aiming for any sort of conversation he’d end up sorely disappointed.

“No. No we’re- it’s not safe yet.” Lance felt something cool against his forehead and he realised it was Shiro’s prosthetic hand. “I thought…” he could hear Shiro taking a deep, shaking breath. “I thought you weren’t going to wake up.” 

“Can’t… rid me easily heheh.” Lance attempted a grin but whether it actually made its way onto his features or not only Shiro would know. His mouth still felt sort of numb. 

“No I guess not.” Shiro barely made a sound around the words. Lance hated the weird quiver in Shiro’s voice, he wasn’t sure he’d ever heard the other man sound like that.

Lance’s attempt at a grin dropped quickly and he tried to lift his hand to seek out Shiro’s shoulder but it wouldn’t move. He swallowed the sound that wanted to bubble up out of him not knowing if it would come out angry or scared but not wanting Shiro to hear either. Instead Lance moved his other hand and it obeyed this time, if not with a bone deep tremble, and he managed to press it against Shiro’s chest. Not what he was aiming for but the blurred vision had developed into double now, so it was close enough. At least he could make out Shiro’s features better even if there were two of him overlapping.

“The sky?” Lance croaked out the question as Shiro’s flesh hand tentatively gripped the one Lance had against his chest. 

“It is, but we’re still in the ship. Some kind of greenhouse but I can’t find an exit or break the glass. You can see it?” Shiro sounded hopeful and Lance felt somewhat guilty for it.

“No- I mean  _ yes _ just colour. Every sort of doubled up, a bit less fuzzy… Can see you better. Closer.” Lance kept the awkward attempt at a smile on his face, mainly for Shiro’s benefit but it helped him feel less out of control.  _ Fake it til you make it, _ he thought.

Shiro didn’t answer him for a long time, the silence stretching between them was only filled by the slight ringing in Lance’s ears and the heavy, quickening breaths coming from Shiro. Along with some far off buzz that sounded like some sort of slow turbine. Lance could feel Shiro shaking. 

“Shiro. M’ok, calm down?” Lance slid his hand up along Shiro’s chest armor and then against the side of the other man’s helmet, clumsily brushing his thumb against what he could reach of Shiro’s cheek. 

“Y-you need- Lance you’re  _ really messed up _ .” Lance hadn’t really ever heard the other man sound like that, the expression on his face seemed to be pained too. 

Lance blinked and squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments in the hopes it would clear them enough to see Shiro even better. The other man wasn’t coping well, Lance wanted -  _ needed _ \- to do something for him, to calm him down and reassure him but he didn’t know what. With his body not listening to him and his mouth not working right all he could to do was utter broken sentences and awkwardly paw at him.

“I can’t lose you.” Shiro sounded like he was  _ sobbing _ . Lance’s chest was suddenly hurting much more than almost everything else in his body, aside from his head. It made him feel even more nauseous.

“No.” Lance’s own tone wobbled and he tried to force himself to speak more clearly. “You won’t.” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to think about dying, about how bad his head injury really was - because Lance wasn’t  _ stupid _ . He knew he was bleeding in there by now, that it’d get worse, that these things could very easily kill people if they weren’t treated as quickly as possible. 

“I don’t-” Lance  _ didn’t want to die _ . “Oh god.” Lance’s forced smile crumbled then, he couldn’t keep it up once his mind latched onto the reality of the situation. There was only so much that Lance could delude himself and now he would probably die whilst Shiro could do nothing to help him, he  _ knew _ Shiro would somehow blame himself and the other man had already been through too much shit for that.

Shiro’s hands were cupping Lance’s cheeks all of a sudden then, the other man’s thumbs swiping away the tears in a gentle but stinging caress. Lance didn’t care about the pain the action caused to his face, but it was so tender that it just made his chest hurt even more. There was still so much he wanted to do, too much he wanted to experience. Lance wanted to see his family again and the oceans on earth, he wanted to eat his mothers cooking and have his first kiss and confess to Shiro once he’d worked up the balls to. 

Lance sobbed loudly and felt like he couldn’t get a satisfying breath in around the panic that was closing around his throat. His hands - still feeling odd anyway - began to get numb and stiff again and he knew that he was panicking but Lance couldn’t stop it now. The cycle of fear had well and truly started to spiral him into a bleak sense of doom, helped along by the distressed sounds Shiro had been making. Though now all Lance could hear was his own heavy gasps and hammering pulse. 

Lance’s hands dropped after a few moments, too weak to keep them in place any longer than he already had. So much for trying to calm Shiro down and make the other paladin feel better. He couldn’t even fool himself into being okay any more. 

“Lance. Shh… I’m sorry. We’ll get through this okay?” Shiro still sounded raw but Lance could only barely hear him above the cacophony in his head. He wanted to believe Shiro he really did. But he didn’t.

“Ngh I- I- Shi-ro.” Lance thought he sounded pretty pathetic. He could feel his face a mess of tears and sticky wounded skin and probably snot, too. Still… “I gotta say… before I-” Lance laused to try and make his mouth work right, make his words come out properly because it was important. This could be his only chance and  _ fuck _ waiting. “Like you.”  _ Shit _ . That didn’t sound like a confession at all. 

“Lance- what?” Shiro’s voice was almost too quiet and Lance grit his teeth around his heavy breaths as if that would help him hear something that’d already been said. Still, the other man sounded confused, shocked? Something Lance’s muddled mind couldn’t quite place. Again. 

“I **_like_** like you Shiro…” Lance put as much emphasis on the first ‘like’ as he could before his sentence ended on a barely there whisper. He was exhausted. This was a stupid place to say it, and he didn’t expect anything in return from Shiro but Lance had needed to get it off his chest. 

Shiro was silent for a long time after that, neither of them moving aside from Lance’s shuddering, heaving breaths that he couldn’t seem to get under control no matter how hard he tried. It almost felt as if he was going to shake right out of his skin with the force of the trembles rolling through him from somewhere deep in his core. 

Shiro’s hands moved slightly against Lance’s cheeks then, he’d forgotten they were even there since they’d been so still and gentle holding him. Lance could feel movement and re-focused his eyes as much as he was able to just in time to see Shiro’s face moving closer. He blinked at the older paladin and tried to make sense of the change in posture. 

However, all thoughts were halted in their tracks as his racing mind slammed to a stop when Shiro  _ kissed _ him square on the lips. Which were still parted because Lance had been trying to breathe. Lance gave an aborted gasp and held his breath, eyes wide and blurry with tears as Shiro’s forelock tickled the raw skin of his cheek.

Shiro’s lips were warm and slightly chapped but the sensation was so  _ soft _ and plush and Lance panicked slightly when he felt Shiro beginning to pull away. He lifted his hand and pressed it ungracefully to the back of Shiro’s head to stop the other man moving back, in fact Lance pulled him down again and their mouths bumped together almost painfully. Regardless, Lance did his best to return the kiss with as much feeling as he possibly could whilst being in so much pain. 

Breathing heavy through his nose as he moved his lips against Shiro’s Lance gave a desperate and sorrow filled whine that pressed out between them. Shiro carefully moved his hands down to rest on Lance’s shoulders and made a soft, pained sound of his own as he pulled away properly this time. He didn’t let Lance pull him back in again, despite the brunettes best efforts and protesting whispers of ‘no’ and ‘please’.

“We’ll get out of here Lance.” Shiro sounded more sure than he had before, more put together and calm. How did he  _ do  _ that? How did Shiro just pull himself together all of a sudden and go into strong leader mode? Granted it was one of the things Lance loved about him but it was still mind boggling. “I’ll get you out of here and you’ll be fine. We both will.”

“Yeah?” Lance almost choked around the word, trying to talk after hyperventilating and then the sudden rush of adrenaline and emotion from the kiss had left his throat feeling all kinds of weird. 

He wanted to believe Shiro, he really did. Lance wanted to cling onto that hope and his previous bravado and deluded optimism but he really couldn’t do it any more. He felt weak and out of touch with his body, like he was wearing a pair of shoes that were far too big. Except all over and not just on his feet. 

“Yeah.” Shiro said firmly and then he was kissing Lance again. “I like you too, Lance.” Shiro pulled away fro a moment to whisper and Lance felt like sobbing again. In fact he did as Shiro kissed him again, licking at Lance’s lips as the smaller man gasped. This was a stupid time and place to make out. Lance didn’t want it to stop, though.

A crash and a loud shrieking noise startled them both, Shiro shooting back into his upright sitting position and Lance jerking his head towards the sound even though he couldn’t see. The motion made him gag from vertigo and the ominous, rattling hissing noises coming from somewhere to his left indicated more than one of those things had found them. 

_ Fuck _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @thephrasequeen for being this chapters Beta~!

Lance struggled to push himself up into a sitting position despite the screaming pain of his head trying to force him back down and into unconsciousness. Whilst the lack of being awake had been a blissful, pain-free time for him, Lance couldn’t afford to be a dead weight again. He couldn’t afford to have Shiro burdened with him any more than he already was or had been. If Lance didn’t pull himself together he could very well be the reason Shiro didn’t make it out alive.

A steadying hand to his back stopped Lance from crumpling back down when his arm gave out and he muttered a thanks despite being able to feel the thrum of trembling in Shiro’s hand. Lance hated how they’d gone so suddenly from a calm, intimate moment right back to stomach churning panic in the blink of an eye.

After the war ended they’d had their fair share of difficult missions over the months, but picking up the pieces of a broken universe had never felt quite so hopeless to Lance as it did right now. The slap in the face that not all planets or life forms were friendly and wanted peace made him frustrated, at least these aliens didn’t appear to have the intelligence for space travel. The aliens were stuck here and Lance wanted to make sure this was where they remained.

Shiro stood and Lance looked up at him, able to see the other man far better than the blobs of alien bodies packed around the doors into the greenhouse space they were in. The line of Shiro’s body was tense and ready for action - although he was slightly hunched and favouring his left side.

Lance rolled onto his hands and knees in an attempt to stand but he couldn’t get enough strength in his legs to do it. He growled with frustration and grit his teeth as he swayed and forced himself to at least kneel upright, hand poised and ready to call out his bayard.

“Why aren’t they coming at us?” Shiro muttered.

“I… I dunno.” Lance licked his lips, feeling the dull pain of having bit his own tongue as he spoke. He could taste the blood and turned his head to spit out a large glob of it with a sound of disgust.

“Do you think they don’t like the light? There weren’t any on the surface when we first came and looked around either.” Shiro quickly glanced up towards the glass-like dome surrounding them, natural light streaming in.

“Maybe.” Lance swallowed the blood in his mouth this time, he couldn’t feel his tongue too well but he knew it was probably quite badly injured by the amount of blood he had to spit again. “You… we should stay.” Lance dropped down to sit on his feet then, weary.

“It seems like the best course of action for now. But we still need to get out of here, Lance. We need to get you to a pod.” Shiro sounded on the verge of breaking again and Lance just wanted to pick himself off the floor and be of better use. Lance pressed a hand to the other man’s knee in an attempt to reassure him, the only place he could reach without too much exertion.

“I’ll…Shoot the glass.” He said, reaching down again intending to get out his bayard.

Even though the glass hadn’t shattered with Shiro’s arm or sword, it might just break if Lance shot it. The heat from the laser or the speed of it or something and Lance had to hope, because he didn’t want to go back into the dark.

But just as he moved and before he could retrieve his bayard, there was something screeching again and Lance felt his body jerk violently backwards towards the doorway, an inescapable pressure wrapped around his throat. He thought he heard Shiro scream his name.

Lance shot his arm up toward Shiro trying to grab at him, the other man was scrambling after him and the dry dirt beneath Lance’s body was being kicked up into clouds of cloying dust making Lance gasp and choke even more. He clawed at the thing around his neck but it was like scratching at their paladin armor and had no effect as he felt his fingers just sliding smoothly over the appendage. Lance felt his head gush blood again and his vision became spotty, it was like his brain was going to explode out of his eyes with the pressure.

His vision seemed to black out and it took Lance a moment to realise it was because he’d been dragged all the way into the dark part of the ship again, now surrounded by the aliens. If he’d been able to draw breath lance would have stopped breathing with the sudden shock of terror that ran through him. He was supposed to be a brave paladin of Voltron, but all he felt like in that moment was a scared little boy being so close to the brink of what he was sure would be his death.

Lance could hear Shiro screaming his name from somewhere that felt far too far away as the appendage wrapped around his throat moved down slightly, something sliced into the flesh at the back of his neck just below his skull. Hot blood ran down his spine and down the back of his paladin armor and Lance’s body went limp even though he was still fully conscious somehow. Though he had no idea of  _ how _ . Scraping, crunching - against his bones - Lance tried to scream but no sound would come out of his wrecked throat.

It felt like his head was going to be detached from his body, he could feel something sharp and precise just needling between his vertebrae and making every last millimeter of him seize and burn excruciatingly. Lance couldn't tell if he was crying or if it was blood dripping down his face any more and for a moment he felt like he was falling, finally blacking out again and he  _ wished _ for death now. For the pain to just stop. He couldn't do it anymore, it was too much and he wasn't strong enough. Not for this.

But then he was yanked back from the abyss just when his body had started to go numb, every sense coming back to him at once like slamming into a brick wall at 100mph. The tail - or whatever it had been - around his throat left and Lance wanted to use the chance to escape or crumple to the floor in a heap but he didn't. He couldn't move although he was standing on legs that barely felt like his own.

With his breath hitching oddly into his lungs, Lance turned around and lifted both hands jerkily. Except that he hadn't wanted to do that, hadn't consciously made himself move with limbs that felt like they'd been torn apart and melted by fire. He took a step and tried to scream through the pain but nothing came out. Lance couldn't even move his jaw from it's half open position as he choked and gurgled on wet breaths. He was unable to even swallow so his saliva just dripped down his chin to mix with the mess of blood and tears.

Lance heaved sobs as his body moved forward of it's own volition - or rather at the command of whatever alien thing had been shoved into his literal spine and was still there. He could almost  _ feel _ the abnormal consciousness all but rutting up against his own as it controlled him. It was a sick and twisted parallel to how it felt to connect with the lions - but this was forced and violating and  _ wrong _ . This was nothing like pairing with Blue and Red, it wasn't a partnership, it was slavery - it was  _ rape _ .

He honestly didn't know how his body was still holding out after so much abuse, his brain injury, a literal  _ thing _ shoved into his neck and wrapped around his spinal cord. That should have killed him, it all should have killed him or at the very least he should be paralysed and incapacitated. But his body felt sturdy and sure as it moved despite the excruciating pain unlike any he'd experienced before.

Lance could still hear Shiro screaming for him, closer now but his vision was so distorted and doubled up that he had no hope now of seeing a damn thing other than the blinding yellow light of the greenhouse when he moved back into it.

"Lance oh god,  _ Lance! _ " Something grabbed his arm firmly and Lance instantly knew it was Shiro even before the words had spilled out.  _ No, get away! Run! _ Lance wanted and  _ tried _ to scream to the other man but again nothing came out aside from a hoarse gurgle.

Lance cried as he felt a violent jerk of his arm as it came up and grabbed Shiro by the throat and squeezed. He couldn't quite tell how much force was being used through the searing tingles shooting through the limb but Lance knew it had to be everything his body could give by the guttural choking from Shiro. He was horrified, he wanted to die, why couldn't his body just  _ die _ and then he wouldn't be hurting Shiro. Trying to  _ kill _ Shiro. It wasn't fair!

"Gh-!" Lance tried again with everything he had to say  _ something _ to Shiro, tell him to fight back at the very least. He was gone for anyway even if they did get out of this his brain stem would be shredded or something. Shiro, at least, needed to survive.

Finally Lance felt the sting of Shiro's hand on his wrist and it squeezed hard enough for the joint to grind and Lance's fingers to release as a thumb - or something - dug into his tendons. Relief washed over the smaller paladin but was short lived. Moments later his leg moved and he kneed Shiro in the gut, hard. The other man went down with a pained yelp and Lance whimpered, this time the sound  _ did _ manage to bubble out of him.

"L-Lance it's... okay I can see it..." Shiro choked the words out and then grunted as he rolled away from Lance's heel coming down to try and smash into his head. It hit the dirt instead, a thick cloud of the dry soil kicking up and making his lungs ache as he breathed it in.

See what?  _ What _ could Shiro see? Lance sobbed internally and once again black spots danced in his vision as he was moved around quickly and violently to follow the other man's movements. Shiro never landed a blow to Lance as they fought but Lance felt his body land plenty on the other man. The only consolation being that he was so much smaller than Shiro so his muscles didn't pack as much of a punch, but the aliens were pumping him full of something that was forcing his body to exceed its limits to an extreme degree.

It was like adrenaline, but  _ worse.  _ On top of everything else the horrible itch and energy rushing through his veins made him feel sick to his stomach again. More sick than before and yet he wasn't gagging or throwing up this time, he guessed that function was suppressed just like his ability to speak and swallow. He was grateful he at least had control of his breathing.

Lance could feel his arms and legs moving in punches and kicks, grabs and grapples and still Shiro used the minimum to fend him off. Frequently the other man tried to go for the back of Lance's head - or neck - but Lance was kept front facing, being jerked and jolted so that his back was never to Shiro and he suspected it was because the thing there was more vulnerable than he'd thought. Good.

He grit his teeth when Shiro seemed to grab and yank on something, felt every nerve in him  _ vibrate  _ with it as the alien thing in his neck was loosened slightly. Lance suddenly realised that he'd been able to move his own jaw. Hope gripped him cruelly for a moment before a scream punched it's way out of him at the sheer agony. How could that be even  _ worse _ than before. Shiro let go immediately and Lance sobbed before his jaw was lax again and he was punching the other man in the head.

_ No no no no no _ !

"I'm sorry! Lance I - I have to!" Shiro was sobbing again, he sounded exhausted and in pain and Lance just wanted to tell him to  _ kill him already _ . He knew Shiro wouldn't. The aliens were still off in the darkness aside from the long, extending  _ whatever _ attached to him, at least, Lance was the only thing Shiro had to deal with even if he was pumped up on alien steroids and out of control.

Somewhere far off Lance heard a loud, dull thudding sound but he thought it was probably just the blood rushing through his head. Even with the alien's control of him, Lance was slowing now, physically broken and closer to a corpse than living. He prayed for release again, for relief. He even wished the alien controlling him would push him harder so it ended more quickly. Lance doubted a corpse would make a good puppet if his ailing body was making it slow and clumsy.

"Lance it's Hunk! Hunk’s here, we're going to get out of this okay just hold on. You have to hold on for me!" Shiro's voice was ragged and strained as he came back towards Lance to try and wrestle the younger man into a pin.

Lance thrashed against the strong hand between his shoulder blades and the knee on the back of his pelvis. For the first time he felt the thing embedded in his spine thumping and flailing against his back as the thudding on the glass across the greenhouse got more insistent and then there was a deafening smash.

Cool air rushed in with bits of exploding glass but Lance barely felt any cutting him, every nerve was already on fire.

This time instead of Shiro trying to pry the thing from his neck, Lance felt blood spray. There was inhuman screeching and clicking from the alien it had been attached to across the room. Shiro had sliced through it’s tentacle -  _ whatever _ \- with his prosthetic. Lance fell limp as if he were a puppet with all of it's strings severed.

As soon as the connection was broken, Lance was screaming. It was raw, ripping through him with every bit of energy his body had left. Lance lay limp against Shiro, unable to stop the sound because he was in too much pain. Words lost all meaning, his vision was completely gone now, despite his eyes being wide open and streaming hot tears, and he felt himself starting to convulse.

There was movement that Lance couldn't even begin to make sense of as Shiro's voice poked at the edges of his consciousness but Lance was too far gone now. He could feel the pull of death and he welcomed the consuming darkness eagerly. The end, the  _ finally _ of it all. He was done. He couldn't stand it any more and he'd gotten to at least tell Shiro how he felt, he knew Shiro was safe with Hunk. He could be free of the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	6. Chapter 6

Lance awoke in a healing pod.

As soon as he registered the claustrophobic feeling surrounding him Lance began to panic and slammed his hands against the still closed hatch as the system finished it’s shut down process. When it finally opened Lance stumbled out and fell to his hands and knees, panting hard.

He’d never much liked waking up in the pods but it had always just been a mild discomfort. This time he’d panicked and felt like he was going to suffocate, he didn’t know why exactly - but he blamed the alien fucks for it.

Lance remained on his hands and knees for a long moment as he tried to catch his breath and get his pulse under control, he was safe now and there wasn’t any immediate danger, after all. But then he remembered how he’d been forcibly controlled and Lance’s left hand shot up to the back of his neck with renewed panic.

Finding nothing there aside from a small section of skin with a slightly different texture - probably a scar - Lance sagged and pressed his sweaty forehead to the cold floor of the medical bay. He let relief wash over him and the hard, cool sensation of the floor seep into his heated skin for a moment longer before he stood. The next most urgent thing now that he was sure he was safe was finding Shiro.

Before he could take a step, though, the door to the medical bay whooshed open and the man in question walked into the room. Shiro had a water pouch in one hand and a data pad in the other. As soon as Shiro saw Lance he dropped both items with a clatter and Lance found himself in a crushing hug that made his heart pound for entirely different reasons to his earlier panic. Lance wrapped his arms around Shiro in return and bunched them into the fabric across the other paladin's back.

"I was so worried that we got back too late- I..." Shiro's voice was trembling and Lance was reminded of how it'd sounded the same when they'd been down on that planet. Trapped in the greenhouse. He didn't like being the cause of it.

"Heh, I'm okay now. You did it, you saved me Shiro." Lance let a little chuckle bubble up and out of him. It was both a sound of nervousness and one of reassurance, trying to diffuse the tenseness of the situation that was palpable in the stiff line of Shiro's shoulders.

"You did that yourself. I don't know how you managed to survive Lance." Shiro pulled away and looked at him.

Lance smiled up at the taller man and bit his lower lip as memories of their shared confession came to mind, along with how close they were standing now. Literally wrapped in each other's arms. He was about to bring it up when Shiro grabbed Lance's cheeks with a shocked expression and a quiet slapping sound with what Lance hoped was unintentional force. 

"Lance your eyes!" Shiro sounded almost panicked.

"Huh? What about them? I can see just fine again, so the pod fixed them - uh... do I have weird scars or something?" Having not seen himself in a mirror Lance really hoped he didn't have a scarred up face.

"No, they're _red_!"

"Uh... Like, I've been up far too long and they're all bloodshot?" Lance untangled his arms from around Shiro and pressed his fingertips to the spaces beneath his eyes and blinked. "But they feel okay?" Maybe a little light sensitive but he _had_ almost been blinded.

"Actually _red_. They're not blue any more." Shiro had got his shock under control by now and sounded much calmer, if not a little disappointed. Lance, however, felt his own anxiety climbing once again.

"Do you think it'll go back to normal? Does it look bad? Oh god what if the pod couldn't fix it and I'm actually gonna go blind!? What if-" Lance babbled and Shiro grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his face where Lance had begun to dig his fingertips into his cheeks.

"Hey, I'm sure it'll be okay. You said they _feel_ okay right? Maybe it's a temporary side effect." Shiro's voice was soothing and Lance did his best to latch onto that. 

"You think so? Heh... yeah... that's probably it." Lance shifted where he stood, still unable to quell the uncomfortable feeling that he was going to go blind again.

“We should get Coran to come and have a look at you just to see if he can tell what’s going on, though.” Shiro paused and licked his lower lip. “But right now it’s the middle of the night cycle.”

“Ah… well I feel okay so I’m sure it’ll be alright til the morning.” Lance said, wanting to know _now_ if his eyeballs were perhaps going to randomly explode on him, but he would keep that to himself.

Shiro stood and kept regarding Lance for what seemed like ages, until Lance could feel his breaths catching again and panic started to claw at him in waves. He knew that he was about to lose it again, and he didn’t particularly want to do it in front of Shiro and give the older man more to worry about. 

“I uh… I guess I’ll go back to my room. Catch a shower and some beauty sleep then. Can’t have me looking awful can we.” Lance gave a wobbly grin, patted Shiro’s bicep and then made a move to leave the room on still wobbly legs.

“Nu-uh.” Shiro grabbed Lance by the shoulders gently and held him in place. “You’re freaking out.” As if stating the obvious would make it better.

Lance’s throat constricted more as if Shiro saying it out loud made the drowning sensation stronger. He felt the first tingling pricks of tears in his eyes and Lance quickly ducked his head, staring at the floor between their feet with wide eyes. 

“I’m fine. Really.” Lance said. Unconvincingly.

“I’m here for you, Lance. You don’t have to try to hold it in or deal with this alone. I was with you down there and I’m still here, lean on me a bit more?” Strong hands began to rub circles on Lance’s shoulders as Shiro spoke. “I won’t judge you. I care about you. You do… you remember that right?”

Lance looked up at the mention of remembering and, _oh_ , he sure did. Scared confessions babbled through fear and tears, their tentative kisses. Shiro’s cheeks were slightly tinged with pink.

“I remember.” Lance swallowed around the lump in his throat and really tried to stop the numb tingle of panic taking hold more than they already had. Focused on the memory - just the good bits of it - and tried to remember how Shiro’s lips had felt against his own, even if Lance wanted to forget the taste of blood that had accompanied it.

“I’m sorry for freaking out.” Lance laughed at himself deprecatingly, lifting a hand to press at one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. “We all went through shit down there, I’ve experienced bad missions so many times before this. I should have a better handle on my reactions by now.”

“Nope. It’s _normal_ to feel freaked out after almost dying, Lance.” Shiro’s kneading hands moved up to Lance’s neck, stroking. “I freak out often.” Shiro admitted with a lopsided smile.

Lance glanced back up to the other paladin’s face, sure that the man was leaning closer to him than before. Lance wanted to kiss him again, gaze fluttering down to Shiro’s mouth for a brief moment before looking back to steel grey eyes. He had no idea of their boundaries any more, they’d been comfortable friends before the mission but now? Now everything felt new all over again and Lance felt way out of his depth, muddled between wanting to talk about his cloying anxiety resulting from the mission and wanting to talk about their feelings. Wanting to _act_ upon them.

“You always seem so composed, though…” Lance squeaked, voice treacherous with his tumultuous feelings. 

“Everyone always thinks so.” Shiro leaned in to press their foreheads together and closed his eyes.

“You can lean on me, Shiro…” Lance meant it emotionally. “I mean… you can confide in me. Tell me stuff, cry… uh… if you do? I guess you do… I want to be here for you.” Lance felt the need to clarify. 

“Yeah.” A soft chuckle in response to Lance’s verbal fumbling. “And I want to be here for you, Lance, so let me?” 

“Mhmm…” Lance didn’t know if he could actually say words any more as their noses bumped gently. Lance could feel Shiro’s breath on his mouth. 

Lance kept his eyes open but half lidded for only a moment longer before closing them and pressing his hands to Shiro’s chest, not pushing away but steadying himself. Shiro let another soft noise out that Lance couldn’t even hope to identify and then there were lips against his own and Lance’s breath stuttered. 

This time there was no blood, no imminent threat and no sense that they were going to die any moment. This time the kiss was unhurried and calm and Lance melted into it with a quiet noise that was embarrassingly close to a whimper, he hoped Shiro didn’t notice it. 

A strong hand cradled the back of Lance’s head, fingers tangling in his hair as Shiro’s other hand moved down to splay across the space between Lance’s shoulder blades. Lance’s own hands slid up across Shiro’s pecs and wrapped around his neck, pulling closer and tilting his head as their lips parted. One of them began to groan at the first touch of tongue but it was cut off by a loud beeping sound that made them both jump and pull apart panting, looking around for any threat. 

The ‘threat’ turned out to be the healing pod announcing it’s shut down and the tenseness that had taken hold in both men dissipated. They laughed and pressed their foreheads together, Lance panting slightly both from the kiss and from the hit of adrenaline the pod had caused. Of _course_ their kiss would be interrupted.

“Do you wanna…” Lance licked his lips, trailing off on his offer. Would it be weird to ask Shiro to sleep with him already? 

“Want to…?” Shiro asked. 

“Uh… c-come to my room? To sleep. Just to sleep! You look super tired, is all. Me too - I could use some z’s, and it just seems like we keep getting interrupted - ah! Not that we need to _do anything_ I seriously just mean like, sleep! I’d feel safer… or something.” Lance trailed off after rambling, his face bright red.

Shiro didn’t say anything, instead staring at Lance in a way that made the younger paladin want to dissolve into the floor with humiliation. But the longer they stared at each other the pinker Shiro’s cheeks were getting and Lance’s shame was quickly becoming overtaken with affection. Shiro looked _cute_.

“Shiro…?” Lance broke the silence at last.

“Uh- Yes! Okay, sure.” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the floor.

“Okay. Good.” Lance nodded with a jerky motion. He had no idea how two fully grown men could be so _awkward_ about things like sharing a bed, especially since they both felt the same for each other. Yet here they were.

Neither of them moved for a moment, until Lance cleared his throat, sucked in a deep breath and grabbed Shiro’s prosthetic to lead the other man out of the medical bay. The halls seemed quieter than usual as they made their way to Lance’s room with their hands intertwined, he wondered if Shiro’s heart was beating as fast as his own. He’d liked the other man for so long already, after all. 

Upon reaching the door to his quarters, Lance licked his lips nervously and glanced at Shiro - who seemed to be just as red-faced as he’d been in the med bay. Somehow, Lance hadn't thought that he'd be the more composed out of the two of them and it gave him a little confidence boost. Pressing his hand to the panel next to the door, Lance opened it and stepped inside, finally releasing Shiro's prosthetic from his grasp. 

After they were both in the room with the door shut behind them and only the silence stretching between them, Lance eyed his bed and grinned nervously. Now that Shiro was actually in his room he wondered if they’d both even be able to fit in the bed - well, he knew they _could_ but would it be comfortable? They weren’t exactly small guys, Lance was all gangly limbs and Shiro was just a tall wall of muscle, after all. 

“I’ll just uh… be right back.” Lance pointed to the door that led into the small bathroom. “Make yourself at home!”

“Alright.” Shiro said in an almost meek tone.

Lance gave a nod and went to calm his nerves in privacy for a moment, letting the bathroom door shut softly behind him. He leaned against it and huffed out a heavy sigh, feeling like his face was burning. Lance lifted his gaze to the small mirror above the sink and _yep_ he was blushing pretty hard, though not quite as much as Shiro had been,

Then he saw his eyes and felt all the heat drain from his face, replaced by a heavy, cold sensation in the pit of his stomach. They really were red. Lance didn’t have his mama’s eyes anymore, that blue that half of his family back home were known for and complimented on. Lance didn’t feel like himself as he stared, blinking rapidly for a while as if that would clear the red from his irises. There _was_ blue there, but it was where the black of his pupil usually was, a vivid almost aqua colour.

Lance stumbled closer to the mirror and leaned heavily on the sink, staring at his face which was otherwise exactly the same as it had been before. Yet the change in his eyes was almost too much and Lance watched as they watered and then spilled over with salty tears that burned and made him hiss. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Lance swiped angrily at them with the backs of his hands to clear them of the tears. He’d been painfully anxious, elated, excited and then devastated within the space of about fifteen minutes since he’d woken and he was exhausted. He wondered if he’d be able to level his emotions out any time soon, but doubted it if the change to his eyes was permanent. Which it likely was if the pod hadn’t healed it, right?

There was a knock at the door and Lance jerked in surprise, scrubbing at his face with the sleeve of the white bodysuit he was still in.

“Lance? Are you okay?” Shiro’s concern was evident even with the muffle of the door.

“Y-yeah just a sec.” Lance cursed the skip of his voice as he spoke.

Turning on the tap, Lance splashed his face with cold water and scrubbed his hand back through his hair. He’d shower in the morning, still wondering how they could go into the pods so covered in blood and other crap yet come out looking and feeling so clean. Like a healing, space shower. Or something.

Giving himself a nod and a quick thumbs up in the mirror - trying to boost his mood and failing miserably - Lance opened the door and blinked up at Shiro who was still right on the other side of it. 

“Are you really okay?” Shiro’s big hands came to cup Lance’s cheeks again, this time more gently than they had in the medical bay. He stroked thumbs beneath Lance’s eyes where the tears had been moments before. 

“I will be. I was just a bit shocked to see them is all. My eyes, I mean. Heh.” Lance leaned into the touch to his face and chewed on his lower lip before gripping both of Shiro’s hands and pulling him towards the bed.

“Have you had any rest yet? How long was I out for?” Lance asked, sitting down and shuffling until he could lay against the edge of the bed that was pressed up against the wall. He did his best to ignore the odd, tumbling mix of excitement, nerves and depression making him feel a little sick. 

“A bit. You were in there for five days.” Shiro’s smile was lopsided and tinged with sadness as he sat and leaned over to stroke the still damp bangs out of Lance’s face. 

“F- _five days_ !?” His voice pitched up at the revelation, that was almost as Long as Shiro had been in when he’d practically _died_ the time Keith brought him back after their fight. 

“I was out for two, but I wasn’t as badly hurt. You seriously almost _died,_ Lance. We… we thought…” Shiro trailed off and squeezed the hand in his lap into a tight fist, looking down at the bed. 

Lance was quiet for a while, trying to process the information. _Shiro_ had been in a pod for two days as well? Lance felt even more sick, he’d been oblivious that Shiro was so badly injured whilst they were down there because he’d been relying on the other man to drag his useless ass about. Guilt welled up and made it feel like his eyes were going to spill over with tears again, Lance grabbed Shiro’s arm to pull him down into a hard hug in order to hide his face. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were injured you- Shiro, you should have said something! I made you _carry_ me!” Lance nuzzled against the side of Shiro’s neck as the bigger man shifted so he was laying down alongside him properly.

“You were half blinded and your head was pretty badly damaged, Lance. I’ve definitely had much worse than a slash to the side.” Shiro started carding his fingers through the back of Lance’s hair. 

“Still…” Lance knew that he couldn’t really have done anything differently with how his head had been, but there was still the guilt. He hated it. “I’m sorry. And for attacking you when that _thing_ was… was… _controlling me_ _.”_ It felt gross, it still made Lance’s skin crawl. 

“That wasn’t you.” Shiro kissed the side of Lance’s head.

Lance felt his chest ache with the tender action and couldn’t resist pressing a kiss of his own to Shiro’s neck. Which he’d intended to just be an affectionate thing, something in return to Shiro’s comfort. What Lance _didn’t_ expect was for Shiro’s breath to hitch and a shudder to subtly run through the other man’s frame. _Interesting ._

“Hmm…” Lance hummed, dropping the subject of guilt for now - because he was honestly just _exhausted_ \- and instead focusing on the warmth and press of Shiro against him. 

Lance grabbed at the covers he’d shoved against the wall behind him and fumbled with them for a moment, awkwardly yanking on them until he and Shiro were under them. Safe and warm. Lance let the hand that wasn’t trapped between their bodies drape over Shiro’s waist and began stroking the area in lazy lines, over Shiro’s shirt. 

“You should get some rest. Your body’s been through a lot.” Shiro said, nuzzling the side of Lance’s head. 

“Mhmm…” Lance knew he should. He knew Shiro was right, but he’d spent _months_ dreaming about having Shiro return his feelings and now they were in his bed together and Shiro had _shuddered_ when Lance kissed his neck. Lance was a virgin but he wasn’t oblivious to what that meant.

So he did it again, and Shiro shuddered again and pressed his face hard against Lance’s head with a huff that sounded like the other man was trying to suppress a gasp. 

“Maybe in a little while…” Lance whispered, lips brushing the same spot he’d just kissed as he spoke. 

Shiro's quiet groan was all that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading~!  
> I do my best to respond to all comments.  
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Heikijin)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! Thank you so much for reading and being patient with me! I'm sorry this took so long to get out to you all, I had such bad writers block and felt insecure about it somehow!

Lance smiled against Shiro’s neck, feeling his gut twist pleasantly at the sound he’d drawn out of Shiro. The taller man’s grip on Lance tightened and he seemed to take a deep, calming breath before pulling away slightly - enough that Lance could no longer tease him. He fought off a pout as Shiro looked down at him, features flushed. 

“I think you really should rest, Lance.” Shiro said, though his eyes kept flicking between Lance’s eyes and mouth. 

“I’m okay, though.” Lance reassured. “Are you…? I guess you need to sleep and recover too huh.” He wondered if they were just going too fast - for Shiro that is. Lance didn’t think anything could be considered ‘too fast’ for him after he’d been pining alone for so long. Eager was an understatement. 

“No I’m fine it’s just…” Shiro glanced at Lance’s lips again and this time his eyes remained there. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“ _ Haah? _ ” Lance couldn’t stop the sound from escaping before he managed to slam his mouth shut with a click of teeth. 

Shiro finally looked away from Lance’s mouth at that, blinking with confusion and a little flustered. Lance hadn’t meant to make the other man feel self-conscious or anything, honestly. But the absurdity that Lance would feel any kind of way other than  _ eager _ was mind boggling to him. As if it would be the most obvious thing in the world - for him to want to just roll over and let the other man take him the first chance they got. Then again, Lance supposed, maybe most people weren’t as innately horny as he was. 

“Sorry - uh, I mean, Shiro  _ really _ ?” Lance raised his eyebrows, further indicating his disbelief. “Doing anything with you would make me feel the complete opposite of uncomfortable. Like you couldn’t get me farther from uncomfortable if you tried. Except maybe by leaving me har-” Lance cut himself off, his rambling finally giving way to embarrassment. Okay, so it was one thing to think these things and another entirely to voice them with the other man just staring at him with an increasingly red face. 

“Um… I see.” Shiro’s reply was tentative and quiet, his voice cracking slightly.

“I- I mean- only if you wanna! No pressure! I can wait, or like, we don’t have to do it at all if you’re asexual or don’t want to or something! That’s not the reason I wanna be with you, I just  _ really  _ like you so, you know, you don’t have to worry about making me feel uncomfortable - or rushed - or anything  _ oh god _ I’m going to shut up now.” By the end of words Lance felt a little out of breath, ducking his head and pressing a hand over his face to hide his awkwardness. 

He felt anything but smooth right now, so much for acting cool about everything and leaving any sort of good impression. 

“Lance,” Shiro chuckled, huffing out a breath as he leaned in closer to press a light kiss to the smaller man’s cheek. “I get it, and no, I’m  _ definitely _ not asexual.”

The emphasis Shiro used when he told Lance that he wasn’t asexual had something twisting low in Lance’s gut and he swallowed down a groan. That tone of voice was illegal, Lance decided, utterly illegal.

“If you’re  _ sure _ that you’re feeling okay and you want to go further I’m not going to say no.” Shiro said, that same tone still making Lance’s stomach flip-flop and  _ burn _ .

Shiro moved his hand up to nudge against Lance’s chin until the other paladin was looking at him again. The older man was actually  _ smirking _ and mixed with the flush on his features; it was an expression that definitely had Lance’s dick beginning to swell with eagerness. 

Lance didn’t say anything else after that for a while, instead leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Shiro’s lips. As Shiro’s hand slid around to cup the back of Lance’s head and thread his prosthetic fingers through soft brown hair, the kiss quickly became more heated. Lance was the first to press for more, licking at the seam of Shiro’s mouth and sighing out through his nose in appreciation as he was granted access.

They lay there for a while just exploring each other's mouths. Tongues lapping at each other and teeth nipping whilst Shiro’s hand remained firmly planted in Lance’s hair, steering his movements easily. Lance on the other hand couldn’t keep his own still. Smoothing both palms across the firm planes of Shiro’s chest and abdomen eagerly, taking in every dip and curve and twitch of muscle. Lance would definitely be jealous of Shiro’s body if he weren’t so goddamn attracted to him and getting to  _ touch _ it.

Pulling away, Shiro peppered kisses along Lance’s jawline and then nudged the younger paladin onto his back, moving to crouch over him on all fours as he moved to kissing Lance’s neck. 

The space between their bodies was too much as far as Lance was concerned, but for the moment he could deal with it. Arching his back slightly and tilting his head back to give Shiro more access to the sensitive line of his throat. Feeling the drag of chapped lips and eager nips had already had Lance aching and hard in the bodysuit from the healing pod, but when Shiro  _ sucked _ on an area just above the neckline Lance whimpered. 

He grabbed at Shiro’s shoulders, biting his own lip as the other man took his time giving Lance a nice, deep bruise in the form of a love bite. Lance wanted - no  _ needed _ \- more. So he wrapped his legs around Shiro’s hips and did his best to yank the other man down. It wasn’t hard, Shiro had been unprepared and lost his balance easily. He fell against Lance with both of them making mixed sounds of pleasure and discomfort at the heavy landing. 

Shiro lifted his head and peered owlishly down at Lance, both out of breath and silent for a moment before breaking down into light laughter. 

“Heheh sorry.” Lance’s voice was airy and his words slow with the fog of lust. “Just wanted to feel you…”

“Hmm, I can certainly help you with that,” Shiro purred.

Then they were kissing again and Lance arched and bucked into the pressure of the other man grinding their hips together. He could feel the hard outline of Shiro’s cock sliding against his own through their clothes and Lance groaned into the kiss, pawing at Shiro’s sides. It was almost humiliating how worked up he already was, enough that Lance thought he might just end up cumming in his suit.

“ _ Shiro- mngh _ ,” Lance whined after breaking the kiss.

“You feel so good, Lance. So hard for me.” Shiro said. His hand moving down between them to cup at Lance’s erection and squeeze slightly. 

Lance whimpered and rolled into the touch, trying to grind himself against the other man’s palm with a twist of his hips. 

Shiro moved then, keeping his hand where it was as he pulled away and downward between Lance’s legs. Lance kept his eyes scrunched shut and held his breath as he felt the new position. Moments later came the sensation of Shiro nuzzling where Lance’s cock was pinned to his hip by his clothes. It had him choking on a deep intake of breath and he felt oversensitive, Lance was sure people didn’t usually lose their shit quite so much over a  _ nuzzle _ , but there he was.

Shiro chuckled. “Doing okay up there?” His words pressed out against Lance’s dick, Shiro’s lips brushing against it in a way that was maddening. 

“ _ Yes _ . Oh god yes, don’t stop.” Lance pressed his fingers into Shiro’s hair and tugged, trying to urge him closer. The other hand moved up to grip at his own hair.

Another soft, amused sound was all the verbal response he got before Shiro was holding Lance’s hips still. The other man mouthed at the defined outline of the tip of Lance’s dick and despite the fabric that was still in the way it felt  _ so good _ . Lance made a keening noise and his grip tightened against his own hair, trying not to do the same and yank on Shiro’s.

Shiro took his time teasing Lance, dragging his lips against him and pressing firm kisses before moving on to press the flat of his tongue in those same places. Lance arched his back and squeezed his eyes shut, wiggling against the tight hold on his hips as he tried to buck and get more friction. It was  _ good  _ and it was maddening. Just enough to work him up but not enough to satisfy his need.

Lance began to whine, trying to hold the sounds back out of embarrassment but unable to completely. All the while Shiro seemed far too composed as he thoroughly soaked the fabric with his mouth, all but purring out praise about how good Lance was being and how hard he was. Hearing their leader muttering about his cock was certainly an experience, the praise making Lance’s stomach twist hotly with pleasant butterflies. 

"Ngh- Shirooo." Lance's breath hitched as he keened the other man's name and Shiro smiled against him before lifting his head.

Shiro's cheeks were flushed, his breathing heavier than before and his pupils blown wide with arousal. Lance stared down at him and felt his dick throb at the sight, maybe Shiro wasn't quite as composed and unaffected as Lance had first thought. When Shiro actually sat back on his heels Lance knew he  _ definitely _ wasn’t unaffected, the front of Shiro's pants straining against his erection.

Lance choked on a groan and flung an arm over his eyes as he felt his face heating up more. Shiro looked  _ huge _ and Lance still wanted nothing more than to feel him buried to the hilt within him. Granted it was Lance's first time and it'd probably hurt, he didn't know if it  _ could _ actually fit, even, but he wanted to at least try. Lance licked his lips before biting on the lower one, letting his gaze finally trail upward from Shiro's lap when he realised he'd been staring.

"Uh... Heh." He grinned bashfully. Too overwhelmed to make a joke about Shro being happy to see him.

"Okay there?" Shiro raised a brow, his own mouth quirking into a smirk.

"Y-yep! Totally fine, great, even! Uh-huh..." His eyes dropped again.

"Well that's good." Shiro's hand appeared in Lance's line of vision and then the other man was gripping at himself through his pants. Framing his cock.

Lance swallowed audibly. "Can I... touch you?"

"If that's what you want." Shiro pressed his palm over the tip of his erection and slid it down to the base to give his balls a light squeeze before letting his hand drop away completely.

" _ Yes, _ I definitely want." Lance sat up and pulled his knees under himself to kneel.

Keeping his own legs spread to either side of Shiro, Lance tentatively gripped the other man's hips and kneaded at them for a moment as he worked up his nerve. He slid his left hand down and inward, ghosting his fingers along the edges of the hot bulge with a sigh before pressing his hand over it properly. Lance gave an experimental squeeze before beginning to rub and knead at Shiro’s cock - the way he'd usually do to himself when he was still wearing clothes.

Shiro let out a quiet groan and rolled his hips up into the motion, obviously not quite as shy as Lance. The other man's pants were wet where the tip of his erection was and Lance thumbed at the area, letting his head fall to rest on Shiro's shoulder as he watched himself.

"I wanna do it." He blurted all of a sudden, voice deep and breathy.

"Do what, Lance?" Shiro's voice had changed now, too. Thicker and deeper and Lance shivered.

"Sex." Lance lifted his head and looked Shiro in the eyes. He leaned in and brushed the tips of their noses together, lips barely touching as he continued. "I... wanna have sex with you."

"Are you sure? We can wait, you're fresh out of the healing pod. I don't want you to strain yourself too much." Shiro's hands moved to rub Lance's upper arms. Finally moving from their passive position at his sides.

"I'm sure." Lance kissed Shiro, chaste and quick. "I've wanted you for so long..." He had to clear his throat midway through the sentence, nerves making his stomach tumble with butterflies.

Shiro groaned again at Lance's answer and pulled him in for another kiss, this time more heated. Lance leaned into it eagerly, one hand pawing at Shiro's shoulder and the other began moving against Shiro's trapped cock again.

Meanwhile Shiro was moving to unzip Lance's medbay suit from the back, dragging the zip down from the neck slowly. The air in the room seemed cool against Lance's skin where he was already sweating slightly from being so turned on, he shuddered and groaned. Feeling the zipper tug when Shiro had opened it all the way, Lance arched his back and pushed his ass toward the other man's hand.

Shiro slipped his flesh hand in the opening he'd just made and kneaded at one of Lance's ass cheeks. Lance pulled out of the kiss and tipped his head back, keeping his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. Shiro hummed and pressed a line of kisses along Lance's jaw, down to his neck where he nipped and sucked as the neckline of the suit dropped out of the way, leaving a deep bruise in his wake.

"Do you have anything we can use, like lube?" Shiro asked, his prosthetic hand moving down to join it's twin inside the suit and against Lance's ass.

"Y-yeah... in the bottom drawer." Lance turned his head towards where he kept his clothes and Shiro's gaze followed.

"I'll get it." Shiro said.

Lance whined as Shiro pulled away and got off the bed. Busying himself with tugging the med-suit off of his arms and shoving it down to his hips, pausing with embarrassment for a moment. He turned to look at Shiro, whose back was turned as he bent to get the bottle of lube Lance had found - and purchased in secret - the last time they'd visited a space mall. At least he thought it was lube. It did the job, possibly better than anything he'd ever had on earth, smelled good and didn't irritate his skin, either.

Shiro turned and eyed Lance hungrily, tugging his own shirt off one handed on his way back to the bed and dropping it to the floor. “Roll over for me.” 

Lance let a strangled sound eke out of him at the sight of the other man’s naked torso. Of course he’d seen Shiro topless before when they were changing or training, but it was entirely different now. Seeing Shiro stalking towards him with that  _ look _ on his face had Lance shuddering pleasantly.

“O-okay.” He squeaked and rolled onto his stomach, his suit still bunched at his waist. 

Shiro climbed back onto the bed behind Lance and with a hand on the smaller man’s hip tugged upwards, until Lance was on his knees with his face still pressed against the pillows. He pressed a kiss to Lance’s lower spine and made himself comfortable between his legs. 

“Good boy,” Shiro purred. 

“Nghh  _ Shiro _ .” The reaction was instant. Lance moaned at the praise and felt his cock jump with excitement, the wet feel of pre-cum oozing from his tip made the mess in his clothes worse.

“Should have known you’d enjoy that.” Shiro’s tone was a mix of arousal and humor.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Lance whined. He felt like his face was going to melt off with the intensity of his blush.  _ He  _ hadn't even known he was into that.

“I’m not.” Shiro reassured him, his hands moving to grip the edges of the med-suit. He tugged on it, slowly dragging it down to expose Lance’s ass as his lips followed. Kisses trailing along Lance’s tailbone and then a few peppered to each ass cheek. “It’s actually pretty cute.”

Lance buried his face in the pillow at Shiro’s words and the kisses to his ass. He’d always thought he’d be much better in this situation, more confident and assertive since he really did  _ know _ what he wanted. But thinking about it and experiencing it were apparently more vastly different than Lance had anticipated. 

“Let me know if I need to slow down, or if you want to stop,” Shiro said. “I mean it, I’ll stop at any point for you.” 

“Mnhm!” Lance didn’t trust his voice to cooperate yet, so the sound of affirmation was all he could muster. 

Still, Shiro seemed to accept it as an answer because moments later Lance heard the sound of the cap coming off the lube. Then the sensation of a cold, slick finger stroking at his hole. Shiro’s face was  _ so close _ to him there, Lance felt like his blush was heating everything from his face to his chest and even down his back. 

As Shiro pressed in slowly he kissed against Lance’s ass cheek. It didn’t hurt at all, it was only a single finger after all, but having someone other than himself do it was almost overwhelming. They’d only just started and Lance was already rocking back against the sensation to bury the digit as far as it would go. 

“So eager.” Shiro muttered against Lance’s skin.

“Y-yeah… wanted you for ages.” His breath hitched as Shiro began moving his finger, fucking Lance with it slowly. 

“God, Lance.” Shiro kept finger fucking him as he moved again, draping himself across Lance’s back to kiss between the smaller man’s shoulders. “Me too.”

Shiro added another finger, stretching Lance out for him with a steady and unrelenting pace. It felt good, better than when Lance did it himself and so much deeper too. The lube made the glide of movement easy, loosening Lance with whatever was added into it to make things quicker and easier. Part of why he liked it so much, considering how impatient he could be.

“Shiro- I’m already f-fine.” Lance shoved himself back more insistently, breath punching out of him as the motion made Shiro’s fingers graze his prostate.

“Fuck.” Shiro bit down on Lance’s shoulder and sped his pace, scissoring his fingers before adding a third. “You’re taking this so good Lance. You do this to yourself?” 

“Yes,” Lance groaned, honest.

“Do you think of me when you do? Fucking you, filling you with my cock-” Shiro’s words broke off with a heady groan.

“Mngh!  _ Yes _ !” Lance almost sobbed the words out, embarrassed but needy. “Shiro - ah! - don’t stop. Please- I want you! T-the lube helps loosen so- mmnh - so it’s okay now.” He begged, his cock aching and still making a mess where it was trapped in the bunched front of the med-suit he was still wearing.

“Such a needy thing.” Shiro sped his motions again. “You’ve waited a long time for this, huh?” Shiro was shifting again, moving away from Lance but keeping his fingers buried within the other man.

Lance heard the cap of the lube again and Shiro groaned thick and low, anticipation coiled in Lance’s gut. Moments later he was rewarded with the sensation of Shiro’s cock nudging at his perineum. Shiro gave three last thrusts with his fingers before pulling them free and rubbing his cockhead against Lance’s twitching rim. 

“Please, Shiro…” Lance whined, arching his back and trying to press back onto the other man’s dick. 

“Shh. I’m coming Lance, don’t worry.” Shiro sounded wrecked and yet somehow managed to come across as fully composed, too. Lance would never know how he did that. 

With his prosthetic steadying Lance with a firm grip to his hip Shiro held his cock with the other hand and guided himself into Lance’s waiting body. The slow stretch around the older man was hot and slightly crampy with his girth, but Lance bit his lip and pawed at the pillow either side of his head. It didn’t hurt, it felt  _ so good _ . 

Shiro didn’t stop until he was fully seated, filling Lance completely. They were still for a moment then, Shiro trembling slightly against Lance as the smaller man adjusted to the sensation of Shiro’s dick. It was almost too much, for so many reasons. Of course he was bigger than anything Lance had taken before, but it was so much more than that. His chest felt tight and there was the telltale tingle in his nose which meant he was close to tears, too. 

Lance had liked Shiro for  _ so long _ , he’d pined for him and lusted after him and now they were finally together. Joined and sweaty and panting.

“Are you okay?” Shiro said, voice trembling and strained. 

“Y-yeah I’m...it’s good. You feel so good Shiro.” Lance hiccuped, blinking through the blur of unshed tears. “Please move, mgh, Shiro I need it…”

“Shit, sweetheart.” Shiro groaned and growled slightly around his words as he ground his hips hard against Lance’s ass. “Okay, let me know if it’s too much and I’ll stop.” He stressed the words, making sure Lance knew they could stop if he needed to.

“Mhmm.” Lance hummed, feeling like he’d just end up sobbing and begging if he spoke out loud in that moment. 

Shiro started slow, pulling back almost all the way before sliding back in with ease thanks to the amount of lube. Lance writhed and pressed himself back with each inward thrust, trying to get Shiro to go faster and succeeding after a few measured motions. The older man’s cock pressing into him at an increasing momentum that punched gasps out of Lance with every deep jab.

Lance’s cock almost  _ hurt _ with how hard he was and the folds of the suit he was still half wearing effectively strangling it. He whimpered and shoved his hand down between his legs to palm himself and yank the med-suit down. Pre-cum dripped down onto his sheets from the amount of mess inside and Lance choked out a moan as he wrapped a hand around his messy cock. He pumped clumsily as Shiro changed angle and started ramming against Lance’s prostate with a grunt. His hands were harsh on Lance’s hips and the smaller man wondered if there would be bruises left behind from the force of the prosthetic, not that he cared. 

“Okay?” Shiro said, gasping right after as he checked in on Lance.

“Shiro- So good! Don’t stop! I'm a-almost there!” Lance’s voice was loud and the almost constant stream of pleased noises should have been enough confirmation that, yes, Lance was doing okay. More than okay.

“Fuck- yeah? You going to cum from my cock, Lance?” Shiro leaned down, prosthetic hand leaving Lance’s hip to grab at the back of his neck instead. 

“Ah- ah  _ Shiro _ !!” Lance mewled loudly and felt his cock twitch harshly at the action, feeling Shiro pinning him like that just made him wetter. Pre-cum staining the sheets more with his pleasure.

Shiro didn’t say anything more, instead his sounds of pleasure and exertion filled the room and mingled with Lance’s. The grip on the nape of Lance’s neck was firm but not harsh, as was the one to his hip and it intensified the sensations wracking his body. It didn’t take long for him to reach his peak, jerking himself harshly through it as he jolted and wailed Shiro’s name loud enough to have his voice breaking. 

Shiro followed soon after, thrusting unrelentingly but un-coordinated as he pressed himself against Lance’s back. Lance collapsed down against the bed as Shiro filled him and then groaned. They lay there for a moment longer before Shiro pulled out and rolled off, trying not to crush the smaller man in the process.

“W-wow…” Lance breathed out. “That was…  _ amazing _ .” He couldn’t stop the happy bubble of laughter that burst free, tired and sated.

“Mmm, you were.” Shiro agreed, making Lance blush anew. 

“You did all the work, I think you mean  _ you  _ were.” Lance rolled onto his side to face Shiro, grinning tiredly.

“Hmm.” Shiro just hummed and smiled back, shifting closer to pull Lance into his arms for a hug. 

Shiro nuzzled the side of Lance’s head and then dipped his head to press their lips together in a slow, lazy kiss. Lance returned it easily, tangling his fingers in Shiro’s hair. They definitely needed a shower now, even though Lance’s legs felt like jelly. Shiro seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“I’ll get something to help clean you up a bit, you look exhausted.” He sat up, pressing another kiss to Lance’s sweat damp forehead without a care.

“Aren’t you tired too?” Lance propped himself on his elbows as Shiro got off the bed and walked into the bathroom to get a damp washcloth.

“A bit, but that was definitely harder on your body than mine.” He came back in smirking, eyes trailing down Lance’s form.

“Pft.” Lance waved a hand as if it were nothing, despite the fact that he wasn’t sure if he could actually walk again yet.

He shuffled out of the med-suit completely and let it drop to the floor as Shiro sat on the edge of the bed and started to wipe the cum from his skin. Lance was still embarrassed, everything was so new after all, but it felt nice to have Shiro there and touching him. He felt pampered and cared for and it made his heart swell and his stomach flutter.

“I’m so happy right now…” Lance said, voice wavering as he continued to grin.

“Me too.” Shiro chuckled, his cheeks pink.

After they’d both had a wipe down Shiro crawled back into bed and pulled the cover over them, tugging lance to curl up on his chest without hesitation. They could shower properly in the morning before they went to find Coran. He was probably fine aside from the colour of his eyes anyway, Lance felt great. Better than ever, even. 

As he drifted off to sleep Lance was happy he’d managed to confess, the elation over Shiro returning his feelings and what they’d just done together still fresh and warming him from the inside out. 


End file.
